Missing Out (Episode One: Uniqueness vs Uniformity)

Sometimes I'm amazed at just how hypocritical we as a society can be.

Here's what I mean by this: As a society we value our own individuality very highly. We express our uniqueness through our clothing, our interests, and our opinions. Both parents and children consider independence as a sign of maturity. We praise individuals and celebrities who stand out from the crowd and are "comfortable just being themselves" . It would seem from the outside that our society holds the uniqueness of individuals as a high value, but I don't think this is the case.

If we look at the people we value, and the attributes in those people that we value we see a different trend. When it comes to our relationships we choose (for the most part) to hang out with people who are just like us, and we tend to avoid and reject people who are different than us.

I enjoy hanging out with musicians and music lovers because I'm a musician. Most of my close friends love movies, and so we talk about movies. Most of my friends talk the way I talk, use the same slang that I do, have similar fashion styles (I know that's probably an insult to most of my friends, sorry), enjoy the same TV shows, agree with me politically, have similar values to me, and so on and so forth.

What we see is that: We prize uniqueness in ourselves, but we demand uniformity in our relationships.

Everyone wants to be unique. Not necessarily unique in a bad way, but we want to be noticed and loved for who we are as an individual. However, when it comes to our relationships, we want everyone we hang out with to be the same as us. In fact, if someone is different than us or holds different opinions than us or does certain things different than us they rub us the wrong way, and we reject them as a potential friend.

Now, I'm not saying that it's not understandable that certain people get on your nerves, because we're all sinful, and many times people have sinful habits that are annoying. In fact, it makes sense that not everybody clicks, but we should be able to love and value the God-given uniqueness within everybody. Especially when it comes to the uniqueness of opinions.

The largest area where I see people craving uniformity from their close friends is when it comes to the area of their opinions. Most people don't want to hang around with someone who has different opinions than them, because it either makes them feel uncomfortable, they're offended by it, or they just feel the need to have their opinions validated all the time. However, the truth is is that when our opinions and world views are challenged we experience growth. We either find new ways to affirm our own beliefs or we realize that we were wrong (God forbid) and we change our thinking. Unfortunately most of us don't get this experience often (myself included), because we surround ourselves with people who validate our own opinions.

The ultimate issue here is that as we pick and choose who we will allow into our group of friends based on these differences, we avoid those who God has called us to love. God has convicted me lately on the fact that there are people I am in relationship with that I choose to avoid, because they annoy me or they're different from me in some offensive or uncomfortable way, and I am not loving them in a Christ-like way.

Just as I have no right to pick and choose who I will love, I also don't have the right to pick and choose who I will share the gospel with, and if I choose not to build a relationship with someone based off of silly differences, I am choosing to not share the gospel with them.

If Jesus (who is holiness embodied) can hang out with those who not only sin but make sin their business, then I think I can hang out with people who I disagree with or who get on my nerves.

God created each of us to be unique, and to be valued and loved because of our uniqueness. We are called to love and value everyone, not just the ones who look, think, and act like we want them to.

Adventures in Missing the Point (Episode One)

I want to take a break from our series on fear, and talk a little bit about current events.

I'm pretty sure the biggest news in Christianity in the past few weeks has been a small group of people who have been fanatical about spreading the news that the rapture will occur on May 21st, 2011 at 6pm. Whether you believe in the rapture or when it will happen, we all have had at least one conversation about this group (even if the conversation was full of sarcasm).

It's easy to make this conversation about humor and how ridiculous these people are. It's easy to make a big joke out of all of this, and to point out all of their mistakes. Let me be clear, I think there is a lot of harm being done by this situation, but I'm not sure that everyone involved is "crazy". I think that they're misguided and misinformed, but I think they believe they're doing the right thing, even though I believe that they're causing more harm than good. However, it has caused me to focus on one issue that I think the majority of Christians get wrong.

Let me start by explaining that this post is as much for me as it is for the rest of you. Thanks for listening in on my conversation with God.

I don't believe that the world is going to end on May 21st, 2011 at 6pm. However, I do believe that it could end on May 21st. I believe that the world could end today. I believe that the world could end before I finish writing this blog post or before you get done reading it. The question isn't when do I believe the world is going to end (because scripture tells us only God knows that). The question is do I live like the world could end at any moment?

As I've watched the news coverage of the groups of people who believe in the May 21st theory, God has drawn my attention to one thing. These people aren't content with anyone being "left behind" when Jesus comes back. These people truly believe that the world is going to end tomorrow afternoon, and they've gone so radical that they've taken to the streets to let people know.

Once again, I don't think their methods are good or effective, and I believe their more detrimental to the cause of Christ than anything. I'm choosing not to judge their motives even though I'm aware that there are many people who do these things out of obedience, guilt, and even fear. What I can admire is the fact that they're so desperate for people to know about grace and about Christ that they're willing to risk humiliation in order for it to happen. My fear that a four minute conversation might be a little awkward keeps me from talking to family and friends.

I think what all Christians should ask themselves is whether they're taking advantage of every conversation they have. Do you leverage all of your influence in your relationships? Do you regularly focus on the urgency of the issue? Do you daily think about how today could be the day that Christ comes back? Are you confident that all of your family and friends are in relationship with Jesus Christ?

I have been incredibly convicted this week that I have been lazy with the relationships God has given me. We have to always remember we're not playing pretend here, this is real life. These are real people with real eternal destinations, we can't afford to focus on this temporary life. We have to be regularly focused on the urgency and reality of eternity.

When I think about how real and urgent this is, I become so thankful that Christ provided someone to talk to me about Him. And I'm so thankful that Christ gives me the opportunity to be that person for my family and friends. But I also feel the weight of the urgency of this issue.

I don't write this so that you'll feel guilty, because guilt doesn't lead to change. I write this so that you can be reminded and motivated to turn your relationships over to God. God has given you influence over certain people, but influence doesn't last forever. No one knows how long your influence will last. Choose to give your influence over to God, and allow Him to move through you to reach our world.

Salt

It's very uplifting to me that Jesus refers to the Church as the salt of the earth, maybe that's because I love salt. If my wife and I go out to dinner with friends and there are chips and salsa, we have to get our own basket because we put "too much" salt on them. I love salt. I've been known to just pour some salt in the palm of my hand and lick it out (you're welcome for that image).

Salt is a catalyst for change. Salt betters - it enhances the flavor of food that you put it on. Salt transforms - if you pour salt on ice it will lower the freezing point of ice, and it will melt more quickly. Salt protects - if you get a cut or a wound on the beach, you're instructed to go in the ocean (where there is SALTwater) because salt will kill bacteria and cause your wound to dry more quickly. Salt preserves - because salt kills bacteria, often people will use salt to preserve meat and other foods. When Jesus refers to the Church as the salt of the earth, He's saying that we should be the catalyst for change in our world.

On Easter we celebrate God changing the world forever by sending His Son to the cross to die for us. However, we also celebrate and are inspired by the fact that God gives the Church the same power that raised Christ from the dead, so that we can join with God to change the world.

The problem is that many of us don't notice the fact that we're losing our saltiness. Many of us aren't even aware that the power that was supposed to be given to us to make us stand out and make a difference in the world is being held back by our own inaction. Many of us speak with our lives that we'd rather celebrate Easter by remembering the way He lived rather than celebrating Easter by living the way He lived.

I suggest that Easter should be the day that we would be reminded of how we should be living. What if Easter became the day that we don't just celebrate what Jesus did for us on the cross, but what Jesus is doing through us in the world? What if Easter was the day that we remembered the Son of God who died on a cross for us, so that we could be freed from our sins, and that we remembered that He died so that would be empowered to change the world?

What if your dreams for your life revolved less around the amount of money you'll make or about the person that you'll marry or around the things that you'll have, but rather your dreams would revolve around what God could do through you to change the world?

We all should be able to find the thing that drives us crazy. The thing that when we look at the world, we get so angry that we're forced to do something about it. A great author, Bill Hybels, calls this your Holy Discontent. Your holy discontent is the thing that keeps you up at night. It's the thing that weighs heavy on your heart. It's the burden that God has given you, and this burden is a blessing.

I pray that all of us find our area of holy discontent. I pray that God opens your eyes to something that you feel compelled to change. I pray that you learn to take a leap of faith and trust God, especially when you know you can't accomplish the task on your own. I pray that we all choose to radically follow God's calling to solve this area of holy discontent.

I don't know what your holy discontent is, but I can tell you what it looks like. Your holy discontent is the thing that you know God wants changed in this world. When you look at this world, and you say "This isn't right! Someone should do something about that!" that's your area of holy discontent. Maybe you feel compelled to end world poverty or sex trafficking or social inequalities. Maybe you're infuriated with the fact that divorce rates are so high or teen pregnancy or that the less fortunate are mistreated. Maybe you know that the church should be the place where the lost, broken, and poor in spirit feel like they can get rest, but you don't see that most places and it upsets you. Whatever it is, that burden is a blessing. I pray that God blesses you with a burden.

I know that it feels like these goals are too big or impossible, but we choose to dream big, because anything else would be an insult to God. We choose not to limit the power of God, and instead we choose to rely fully on the power of God to accomplish what we could never accomplish on our own. When we do that we can experience freedom. We can let God worry about the results, because we're not called to be successful. We're called to be faithful.

Salt of the earth people ask God for a burden. Salt of the earth people look for their area of holy discontent. When they find it, they don't back away from the challenge. Salt of the earth people take the leap of faith, trust God, and rely on Him to take care of the results.

Sledgehammer Moment

I wish I could tell you that God is always speaking to me in a whisper. I could feel a little better about my spirituality if that were true. I could walk around standing tall, talking about how I walk through my day with me and God chatting like best friends. We'd talk about how crazy last night's episode of Justified was, how much we both love Moe's Southwest Grill, and every so often He'd say some inside joke like "don't forget the mustard" and then we would laugh and laugh and laugh.

However, most of the time a whisper doesn't work for me. Most of the time God has to get my attention with something. Most of the time when God is trying to speak to me in a still, small voice my own inner-voice drowns God out (that's right I do have an inner-voice, I just don't use it a lot). So sometimes God has to use something like fire and wind to get my attention (see the story of Elijah). It's like God has to hit my eardrum with a sledgehammer just to wake me up to His voice.

A few days ago, I was driving into Newnan on my way to work, and I was completely preoccupied thinking about my day and listening to the Bert Show. I remember thinking that what my day had in store and the fact that a DJ was leaving the Bert Show was going to be the biggest deal of my day, but it turned out not to be. As I drove down Bullsboro I took a moment to take my eyes off of the road (which isn't always a safe thing to do), and in that moment, when I put everyone else on the highway's life in danger, I noticed the sky.

Have you ever taken a moment to notice something that we often take for granted, and you truly realize just how absolutely wonderful and gorgeous it is? I can't explain to you in words how beautiful or how magnificent the horizon looked that morning. It looked like a highly skilled artist had strewn His canvas across my windshield, and I got the joy of watching Him paint.

I can't describe the overwhelming emotion that took my heart captive in that moment when I realized that the God of the universe was orchestrating the entire universe, still creating horizons, and painting the skies everyday, and that the same God that painted the sky that morning was wanting to know me personally and intimately. It felt as if God had painted that sky that morning to win my attention and my affection, like the time I ate an entire cup of nothing but ranch dressing to impress a girl (I'll tell you about that story some other time). God was revealing a little bit of His glory, and it blew my mind.

I call these Sledgehammer Moments. Moments when the glory of God hits you in the chest with the force of a sledgehammer, and you wake up to His glory.

But here's the truth, I believe that God uses His creation to reveal Himself to us and to get our attention, but I know for sure that God loves to please Himself with His own creation. God created the entire universe and He looked at it and called it good. He didn't think, "Man, I hope Nathan thinks this is cool!" God said, "Look at how awesome I am that I could make the ocean and diamonds and black holes and trout and the spleen. I am incredible! I AM good!"

When I'm in the Bahamas and I see the clear blue waters of the Atlantic or when I stand on a cliff of the abyss that is the Grand Canyon or when I'm on the side of the road staring at the beautiful colors of the Painted Desert or when I feel the mist of Niagara Falls hit my face, I realize just how big God is. I see a glimpse of the glory of God in that moment, and I ask myself, "How could I not give my entire life to you in full devotion? How could I ever imagine being lukewarm to your blazing fire?"

The same God that painted the sky that morning in Newnan, breathed life into my lungs at my birth, and knows how big the universe is because He was there when it came to life, wants to know me so closely that He left paradise in heaven to be poor so that He could draw near to us. He suffered the worst death so that I could know and be known by Him on the most intimate and personal level.

When it comes down to that, how could I refuse to give Him my full devotion? How could I tell Him that anything He asked me to do was just too weird or too radical?

When I look at the glory of God in creation or when I hear about the loving kindness of God through the Bible the only natural response from me is complete surrender and full devotion. I'm thankful that God takes the time to give me a sledgehammer moment like I had that morning in Newnan, because it reminds me of how truly great He is. Sometimes you need a sledgehammer.

Dangerous Theology

My wife and I frequent a wonderful Mexican restaurant in Carrollton called La Salsa. I've always been the guy who says that all Mexican food is the same as the next, but I feel comfortable telling you that La Salsa makes the best burrito and enchilada that I've ever consumed (and I've eaten a lot of burritos and enchiladas). If you're ever out in Carrollton, I would love to take you to La Salsa, and watch you pay for the meal.

One night, my wife and I decided we would go on a spontaneous date, which was nice because we were heading to La Salsa. We sit down in our usual section (that's right, we have a usual section), and we notice that there's this couple sitting next to us. Now, the reason we paid any attention to this couple is because they have a young child, and my wife has a penchant for noticing children four and under.

As I quickly devoured the chips and salsa in front of me-and my wife tried to keep pace-I noticed that the son of the couple seated across from us was very talkative. It was slightly amusing listening to him describe the contents of his lunch and occasionally chiming in on his parents conversations. However, by the time my taco, burrito, and enchilada had arrived, his cute anecdotes had deteriorated into frequent and long-lasting screams. Now, when I say screams, I'm talking about squealing at an octave that only bats can reach and dogs can hear.

I spent the next few minutes eating my meal in fury, upset about the fact that this family had to come here on the one night that I decided to take my wife out. I was upset with the parents because clearly they had no concern for my comfort. I was upset with the child because he wasn't polite enough to sit through a meal quietly. I was upset with the La Salsa staff because they had sat this rude family in my section. I was upset with God because He should have made this family desire some other food besides Mexican on that particular night.

But then God whispered five dangerous words in my mind, "consider others better than yourself". I immediately recognized this words from Philippians, but that wasn't enough for me. For the next ten minutes I politely pretended to listen to my wife as she spoke beautifully and intelligently about something of importance, I'm sure, as I wrestled with God in my head.

I knew God commanded me to consider others better than myself, but did that mean that I was supposed to like it? Was I supposed to just accept the fact that this family had ruined my evening with my wife? Was I supposed to supposed to be okay with the fact that my one night out with my wife was ruined?

No, I wasn't. I was supposed to be thankful for the fact that God had given me the ability to take my beautiful wife out for dinner. I was supposed to be thankful for God bringing such an amazing woman into my life. I was supposed to think of this family's needs above my own. I was supposed to consider how uncomfortable they must feel knowing that their child was causing a scene. I was supposed to consider them better than myself.

I have to take a break here to give you a little context to this story. Leading up to that night God had been convicting me of my lack of humility (which is the not-so-humble way of saying my arrogance and pride). I knew that the area of spiritual growth that I needed to focus on was the fact that I was not very humble, and God calls us to humbly submit to Him and to others. So, I began to pray that God would make me humble, but I didn't realize that God doesn't make us humble, He breaks our pride and we have no other choice but to be humble. I had even prayed that morning that God would begin to make me more humble.

Finally God, like a wonderful storyteller, brought me around to the point of this whole situation. He reminded me of the beginning of that verse from Philippians. "In humility, consider others better than yourself". I immediately laughed out loud, which startled most people in the room (including my wife). God chose to thrust humility on me by forcing me to stare at my pride face-to-face.

In my pride the only person I could focus on was myself. I was upset that my night had been ruined with my wife at my favorite restaurant, paid for with money spent from my bank account. I had never thought to consider others better than myself. I had never thought to ask, "how can I serve this person in this moment?" Or better, "how can I serve God in this moment?"

Let me warn you though, if you begin to accept this theology as truth, it can be very dangerous. To truly be humble, you have to value others more than you value yourself. In order to do that, you have to put their needs above your own. This can be very dangerous teaching, because that means that:

The couple with an unruly child is more important than you

The child who want stop screaming is more important than you

The person who cuts in front of you in traffic is more important than you

The person who gossips about you is more important than you

The person who mocks you is more important than you

The person you can't stand is more important than you

The person who always disagrees with you is more important than you

The homeless person is more important than you

The drunk driver is more important than you

The murderer is more important than you

The terrorist is more important than you

We don't get the luxury of choosing who is more important than us. In Christ we are called to be humble, and in humility we are called to consider others better than ourselves. We know that we consider others better than ourselves, when we choose to serve them in all situations. Who are you struggling to serve?

Living Up To The Name

In 2001, Sean Combs made a shocking decision to change his recognizable stage name from Puff Daddy to the shortened P. Diddy. This decision came after he was acquitted of charges for gun possession and bribery. Most people were confused by this action (including myself), and simply chalked it up to mere celebrity weirdness.

However, many people assumed that this was a symbol that Mr. Combs was choosing to follow a different path in his life, and he represent this by changing his name. Whereas, others assumed that this name change was an homage to his dear friend-Notorious B.I.G.-who referred to Combs as Diddy. Whatever the reason is, I think we can all agree that it is ridiculous to refer to a grown man as Diddy, but I think I can understand the idea of a name change to reflect a lifestyle change.

I've had friends in my life who have decided to change their last name because they had a bad relationship with their father, and, out of respect, took the last name of someone else who had been more of a father to them. They chose to publicly show that they were choosing to honor the person who had played such an important role in their life, by taking their last name. And I can respect that, no matter what their last name becomes.

On our wedding day, my wife chose to demonstrate her commitment to our life and new family by changing her last name to Martin. She didn't do this simply because it makes things less confusing, but because she wanted everyone that met us to know that we belonged to each other and were responsible to each other.

Name change reflecting life change is something that is shown throughout the Bible. When God chooses Abram and Sarai to be the father of the nation of Israel, He represents their covenant by changing their names to Abraham and Sarah. God changes Abraham's great grandson's name from Jacob to Israel (which is a little strange, it would be like someone naming their baby America). In the New Testament, Jesus changes one of his followers name from Simon to Peter. Each one of these people experienced a significant life change, and God showed this by changing their names.

Here's where things get personal. When we accept what Christ did on the cross and ask that He'll apply that grace to us, then God changes our name. Clearly I'm not talking about your legal name, but God calls us something different.

You once were Lost

Now, you're Found

You once were Dead

Now you're Alive

You once were Sinner

Now you're Forgiven

You once were Weak

Now you're Strong

You once were Fatherless

Now you're Son or Daughter

You once were Broken

Now you're Healed

You once were Lonely

Now you're Surrounded

You once were Empty

Now you're Filled

You once were Scared

Now you're Fearless

You once were Excluded

Now you're Accepted

You once were Hopeless

Now you're Saved

The question is are you going to live up to your new name or not?

I'm not talking about whether you feel like you're called Saved or Loved or Accepted, but whether you live up to that. Do you live life like you have been given new life? Do you live like you've been given a spirit of power? Or do you live like you're helpless? Do you live like sin is in control?

Do you live like God has called you Daughter or Son or do you live like you're still Fatherless?

It's not just important for you to know things about God, but the things you know about God should change you. The only way that you can tell whether God has changed your name is whether you choose to obey His commands. God has called us to know Him, but more importantly God has called us to be known by Him. God wants to change your name, but you have to be willing to live up to that name.

Are you ready to live like you truly know God? Are you ready to love like God loves, and to live like God lives?

Are you ready for a name change?

Priorities

My life completely changed on September 5th, 2009.

Up until that day, I only had to be responsible to one person: myself. However, on that day, my life included someone else's life. I was responsible to someone else: my wife.

On September 5th, 2009, I was married to my best friend, and our lives became intertwined. What affected her affected me. She became my top priority.

Now, I hope that you caught that mistake. If not, you should probably re-read the set up to this post.

When we got married, my wife became my top priority. I sought first her needs. When she was unhappy, it made me unhappy. When things weren't going right for her it made me worried.

There's nothing wrong with the idea of making my wife a top priority in my life, but the truth is that my wife should not be my #1 priority. However, if I am honest many times she can become that.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't love God or that I don't seek Him above everything else. Most of the time I do. I can honestly say that when we got married I believed that God was leading me that direction, but that is not always my focus. I am not always solely focused on where God is leading me, and what God wants me to do. Sometimes I'm more concerned with what my wife and I want to do, and where our desires are leading us.

You see, I didn't worry much before I got married. My priorities were kind of small and were limited to my own situation, yet when I got married my life's population doubled. I now had to worry about my wife and what was going on in her life: whether she was safe and happy and comfortable. I was also in my second year of college, and now that I had a wife to support making sure I kept the HOPE scholarship was a much bigger deal. So, now I'm worrying about Jenny's safety, happiness, comfort, and my grades. Add on top of that the amount of stress I had at work, Jenny's grades (she's a Psychology major, so she has tougher classes-because she's smarter than me), her job, all of our bills, getting a new car (I was in a wreck, but it wasn't my fault), and all of my positions at church, and you've got a lot of worry.

The problem here wasn't that it was too much to handle, because most of the time it was fine, but the problem was that my priorities were messed up (and can still get messed up). I was seeking first my kingdom, and my own problems. I was trying to make sure that all of my needs were met, and that included meeting my wife's needs.

This is not the life that God has called us to. God has called us to chase after the things of His kingdom before we even think about our own kingdom and our own problems. God says that if our main priority is His kingdom, then He'll take care of all of that other stuff.

When my focus is on my own kingdom, accomplishing what I want done, then it is necessary to worry. Let's face it, the world is out of my control. No matter how hard I work at my job, the economy could crash, and I could get fired. No matter how healthy I am, cancer can always strike. No matter how safe I try to make myself, accidents happen. I can't control this world, and when my main focus is my own kingdom, my own needs, then it is natural to worry.

Not that worry accomplishes anything. As Jesus says, "Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" We know that worrying doesn't solve anything, but when our focus is on our own kingdom, then it is comforting to worry. We are holding on to an illusion of control, and missing out on putting our lives in the hands of the One who IS in control.

I want to make it clear that I'm not saying that this is where I should be. I don't think that this is where God wants me to be, but this is where I am.

Everyday is a battle. Everyday is a struggle. Everyday is a choice whether to live my life for God or for myself. Everyday is a decision: advancing God's kingdom or advancing my kingdom?

The times that I do choose God's kingdom over my own, what I find out is that I have peace. Peace is the absence of worry and stress. When I lay my burden of worry down at Jesus' feet, I find rest. When I'm restless from sleepless nights consumed with worry, I can choose to let go of worry, seek God's kingdom first, and find rest in God.

A bonus of all this is that when I let go of worry and seek first God's kingdom and God's will, I find out that everything else gets taken care of.

When I follow God's commands for my money, I find out that I stay away from debt and I have margin in my finances. When I choose to seek first God's kingdom, I love my wife more and I meet her emotional needs more. When I choose to listen to God's will in my morality, I become more of the man that I want to be. When I make God's kingdom the #1 priority in my life, I see that all of the things I worried about all along were not as important as what God is doing in the world.

God is calling us to a better life. Not only a life free of worry, but a life that is overflowing with a joy that leaves us speechless. But we cannot gain access to that life if we're chasing after and trying to advance our own kingdoms. God demands that we lay our kingdoms down at His feet, and seek first His kingdom. He promises that He'll take care of the rest of the stuff.