Here's what I mean by this: As a society we value our own individuality very highly. We express our uniqueness through our clothing, our interests, and our opinions. Both parents and children consider independence as a sign of maturity. We praise individuals and celebrities who stand out from the crowd and are "comfortable just being themselves" . It would seem from the outside that our society holds the uniqueness of individuals as a high value, but I don't think this is the case.
If we look at the people we value, and the attributes in those people that we value we see a different trend. When it comes to our relationships we choose (for the most part) to hang out with people who are just like us, and we tend to avoid and reject people who are different than us.
I enjoy hanging out with musicians and music lovers because I'm a musician. Most of my close friends love movies, and so we talk about movies. Most of my friends talk the way I talk, use the same slang that I do, have similar fashion styles (I know that's probably an insult to most of my friends, sorry), enjoy the same TV shows, agree with me politically, have similar values to me, and so on and so forth.
What we see is that: We prize uniqueness in ourselves, but we demand uniformity in our relationships.
Everyone wants to be unique. Not necessarily unique in a bad way, but we want to be noticed and loved for who we are as an individual. However, when it comes to our relationships, we want everyone we hang out with to be the same as us. In fact, if someone is different than us or holds different opinions than us or does certain things different than us they rub us the wrong way, and we reject them as a potential friend.
Now, I'm not saying that it's not understandable that certain people get on your nerves, because we're all sinful, and many times people have sinful habits that are annoying. In fact, it makes sense that not everybody clicks, but we should be able to love and value the God-given uniqueness within everybody. Especially when it comes to the uniqueness of opinions.
The largest area where I see people craving uniformity from their close friends is when it comes to the area of their opinions. Most people don't want to hang around with someone who has different opinions than them, because it either makes them feel uncomfortable, they're offended by it, or they just feel the need to have their opinions validated all the time. However, the truth is is that when our opinions and world views are challenged we experience growth. We either find new ways to affirm our own beliefs or we realize that we were wrong (God forbid) and we change our thinking. Unfortunately most of us don't get this experience often (myself included), because we surround ourselves with people who validate our own opinions.
The ultimate issue here is that as we pick and choose who we will allow into our group of friends based on these differences, we avoid those who God has called us to love. God has convicted me lately on the fact that there are people I am in relationship with that I choose to avoid, because they annoy me or they're different from me in some offensive or uncomfortable way, and I am not loving them in a Christ-like way.
Just as I have no right to pick and choose who I will love, I also don't have the right to pick and choose who I will share the gospel with, and if I choose not to build a relationship with someone based off of silly differences, I am choosing to not share the gospel with them.
If Jesus (who is holiness embodied) can hang out with those who not only sin but make sin their business, then I think I can hang out with people who I disagree with or who get on my nerves.
God created each of us to be unique, and to be valued and loved because of our uniqueness. We are called to love and value everyone, not just the ones who look, think, and act like we want them to.
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